Reflection

            This is just an assignment right? Wrong. This was much more than an assignment, this was a life experience.

            I went to bed Thursday evening preparing myself for the day to come.  I was dreading the following day.  What was it going to be like when I let go of my one defense? How was I going to cope without my sarcastic armor?  I wasn’t sure, and frankly I didn’t even want to think about it.  Finally I put the thought out of my mind and went to sleep.

            I woke up Friday morning with a glimmer of perspective. I knew I had to force myself to do this. It was for a grade and more than that, I refused to let my experiment fail.

            To think more about my day I went to my quiet place; the shower. In the midst of shampooing and conditioning I found the answers I was looking for.

            I realized that in order to make it through the day I would have to have the right mindset.  I knew that the love for others that I wanted to portray with my words had to start in my head. So I made the decision to keep my thoughts positive, in hopes that my words would follow suit.

            The first hour of my day was really easy, that is, until Molly woke up. After just thirty minutes around my sister, I blew it. Demeaning sarcasm to start the day wasn’t exactly what I was going for.  But as the day went on things looked up, it became almost easy to abide by the rules of my experiment.

            I fulfilled all of my requirements. I told 5 people things that I appreciate about who they are. One of the people was my dad. I told my dad that I really appreciate how he’s able to lead our family and still be relatable. As for the 10 general compliments, those were pretty simple. I told one girl that I don’t even know the name of that I liked her shoes, and another that her sweater was cute.

            One thing that I worry about my assignment is that it wasn’t fair. The day that the experiment took place; a large portion of the school was on a field trip. Most of those people on the field trip would have been people that I would have struggled to be nice to. So I kind of wonder what would have happened if they would be there. Would I have messed up a lot more and then have had a different experience? I really can’t know, but I feel that my experiment would have gone a lot differently.

            Maybe it’s because all those people weren’t there, but I found the whole experiment pretty easy. And although it was pretty easy, I had this weird feeling all day. I was driving home, thinking over my day and still feeling kind of off.  And that’s when it hit me; it’s not that hard to love others, it’s not that difficult to say nice things. The only thing stopping people from loving others more is themselves.  All you need to do is make the decision to put others first. Plain and simple, all you have to do is forget about yourself! How completely selfish am I that I can’t give up nit-picking at myself to love others.

In that moment, I was disgusted.  I couldn’t handle humanity, how can we all be so selfish that we can’t take a few seconds to decide to love others? And that’s when I started to paint. 

            I worked and I worked, and I put all my heart into my work.  And then it was done.  I call it “Edify”.  It’s based off of a multitude of scriptures including Romans 14:14-21, 1 Thessalonians 5:11, and 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.  The basic idea is that on the list of important things in my life, I should be last. Being last means that when I speak to others, I should speak in love and kindness.

            In sitting back and looking at the painting, I was able to see the hypocrisy in my experiment. I chose to go a whole day building people up with my words, when just twenty-four hours ago I chose not to go an hour without some sort of biting sarcasm. (Key word there being chose…) And then, I go ahead and do my experiment and realize that it really wasn’t that difficult. I realized that although I believe that we should be kind to one another, I never really acted on that belief.  Therefore, I was a hypocrite.

            Now though, I see that I was wrong, I see that I could have been different and (once again…) chose not to do so. But in seeing my fault, I am also able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I now know that being positive doesn’t have to be as complicated as

I think it does. I really don’t have an excuse to be mean anymore, and that scares me. What am I going to hide behind now? Nothing. And that’s how it needs to be. (Booo)

            It’s crazy to think that even though my experiment ended up kind of blah, it had a major impact. Even a whole day of making yourself do something that isn’t that tough, but differs from your routine can change a person. I know it can.  I’ve seen it happen.  I am the proof.

            So what the heck am I supposed to do know? What do I do when I know that I’ve been wrong and now I know I can change? I change.

Now that I’ve seen the error of my ways (not to be overly dramatic or anything...), I know that I need to be better, I know that I need to love people more. I can see that it’s a simple choice like most things in life; all I have to do is make the conscious decision to love more.  I’ve done in for 24 hours, the rest of my life will be a cake-walk right? (Right…?...)

Questions

What did you expect to happen?

I expected that it would be a constant struggle to be kind to others with my words.  I also thought it would be hard to fulfill my criteria.

What Actually Happened?

It wasn’t as tough as I thought it would be.  Once I had the mindset to love others and build them up with my words, I hardly struggled.  I messed up about 14 times in a 24 hour period.  People bugged me, in order to make me stumble, but usually that did nothing.

Did you feel that if you did this for longer, something about who you are would have changed?

Actually, I feel that I did change a little bit.  Forcing yourself to be completely kind for 24 hours has an impact.  Since then, I’ve been choosing my words more carefully.  If I did this experiment for a longer period of time, it would be life changing. 

Would you recommend other people to do what you did? Why or why not?

Definitely.  Even such a small amount of time can be mind-altering.  I would recommend that other people would do this even if it was only for a few hours.  Those few hours can change your perspective and force you to see the value of loving one another.

Pictures

 A Painting I did called "Edify"
Romans 14:14. The basis of my project.
Where I get my worldview.

My dad after I complimented him on his ability to be a Godly leader and remain an open and  loving father.  (Isn't he cute? hehehe)

Here Goes Everything!

Today is the day!

     So today is experiment day; the day that I will edify others with my words. To be honest, I'm not sure how this is all going to go. This is a tough task for most people, but it's going to be especially difficult for someone like me. You see, normally, I tend to be the sarcastic one in the room, but today I will be the girl who is as sweet as sugar. 

     In thinking about the task ahead, I came to a realization: Not only do my words have to be positive today, but also my thoughts. It seems that before you can speak positive words with truth and honesty, you must have honestly positive thoughts. 

     That kids, is where it gets even worse.  I tend to have negative thoughts about anything and everything.  For example, a girl will walk into the room and the first thing I notice isn't her pleasant disposition or her cute shoes, it's her ugly shirt that doesn't even match with the rest of her outfit.  It's a problem to say the least.

Predictions-

I predict that having positive thoughts will be my biggest struggle today.

Here it goes!  Wish me luck... I'm going to need it.

Proposition

What-

For twenty-four hours I will edify people with my words.

How-

I will do the following:

1. Find something about a person that is about the core of who they are, and share about my appreciation for it.  ( 5 people)
2. Give a general compliment to ten people that I don’t normally talk to.
3. Generally speak out of love and kindness

I will NOT do the following:

1. Use sarcasm
2. Insult or degrade someone or something
3. Speak unless I have something nice to say.

The Manifesto of Faith Ellen Augusta Cooper

           One principle that I hold dear is this; That one should edify others with his words.  Or, in the wise words of Thumper, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 

            Edifying people with your words does not mean giving shallow compliments or half-hearted greetings, but speaking with love and kindness.  To edify someone with your words, you must be genuine.  This means that you can not talk down to someone (or about them for that matter), but instead whole-heartedly build them up with truths and love.   This practice isn’t something that you go out of your way to do, but rather a constant love for others shown in your words.

            This basic principle of kindness was taught to me at a young age.  My mother would often scold me saying, “Ellen, what does Thumper say?”  As I grew older, though, I learned that a bunny can have some good things to say. 

When people say hurtful things to you, their words can cut like knives, even if no pain was intended.  If you make a constant effort to edify others, you won’t run into the sticky situation of accidentally hurting people’s feelings.  But moreover, it is important to build each other up, not only to be kind, but so that we honor God. ( Romans 14:14-21 and 1 Thessalonians 5:11)